'Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue. Could read...
'Something golden, something stolen.'
- The colour blue should be sky-blue, the colour of the heavens.
- The bride should wear nothing but white, rumours spread quickly. If the dress is a hand-me-down from mother, expect a good time. Bridesmaids dresses should be coloured, preferably blue, pink or gold. They shouldn't wear red, the colour of bad luck. Avoid green at all costs, because it's a sign of jealousy and is an unhappy colour anyway. Wouldn't you agree? The Irish would beg to differ. If a bridesmaid stumbles on the way to the alter with you, prepare for a rocky road ahead.
- If by chance there's an accident during the ceremony, heaven forbid, not a drop of blood should be spilt on the bride's wedding dress. She'll die within the first year of her marriage.
- Don't make your own dress or cheap out either, silk only. No satin because white satin is unlucky and don't even think about polyester, were not in the seventies anymore. White velvet spells disaster avoid it at all costs.
- Leave birds out of all embroidery, especially on the gown. A bad omen, or any vine like patterns, the same applies because it signifies death.
- Brides should wear a veil, especially if they're ugly, as in some of these forced marriages. Have some pity for the groom. Also, evil spirits might try to snatch her if they find her attractive. Funny evil and veil use the same number of letters just rearranged—considered an unlucky number if you're Chinese.
- The bride should never see a reflection of herself all dolled up in her gown in a full-length mirror, she'll be sad her whole marriage. If she must see herself, she can take off one shoe or one glove and look, this has been a tradition for centuries to make sure things go smoothly.
- Have lots of flowers, in a bouquet, around the room, in your hair, etc. Tie a ribbon around each stem for good luck. Something in the smell, it turns people on and symbolizes sex and fertility. Hold off on the violets unless you don't want your wedding to turn into one big mass orgy.
- On the way to the church, hopefully you won't run into any cops, or doctors, a lawyer, a priest or a blind man, all bad omens. A priest?
- On the way out of the church, go out another door, avoid the door you came in and hopefully in this instance you don't meet a pig or a funeral party, both bad omens. Go figure, to meet a black cat is a lucky sign.
- If you're spending enough money and renting a carriage, make sure the horses are grey. If the horses get spooked after the bride and groom have boarded, big problemo', they'll have a rocky marriage.
- Rice (not cooked) thrown in the face of the bride and groom is not good, but thrown around them on the ground is okay. Not too sure about confetti. A shoe thrown at them is a good sign they'll have kids.
- In Germany they tell the bride to, "go nutting" Referring to sex. The bride must always be carried over the threshold holding her tight, just in case she tries to escape—arranged marriages again!
- A bride should never fall asleep before her new husband, for she will surely die first.
- When throwing the bouquet over your shoulders, aim for the ugly girls, to assure them they will get married and carry on the tradition. You've heard of that old cliché, always a bridesmaid never a bride. If she's been a bridesmaid more than three times, she's unlucky indeed and will be a spinster the rest of her life.
Bridesmaids and Best Men are considered guards at the wedding ceremony, just in case someone wants to steal the bride, like someone from another tribe. The more, best men and bridesmaids the safer she feels. We just can't let old customs die, now can we?